Jonetta's first publication - Fresno Bee newspaper, April 7, 1980


Sister who was "different" taught a valuable lesson
(This is a true story)


 
"Come on you can do it. Just hold the ball in the air, let it drop and grab a jack!"
 
"Come on you can do it."
 
Years passed and she still couldn't do it.
 
Why?
 
Why, I asked myself many times.
 
Lunchtime is usually the most favorite time of all for elementary school children. But for me, it was usually embarrassing and depressing.
 
"Splat."
 
"Crash."
 
There goes her lunch again, all over the floor. Laughter filled the cafeteria as fingers pointed to me.
 
Voices shouted, "You have a goofy sister!"
 
This went on day after day for two years.
 
Why?
 
Why was she like that?
 
The following year Ploomie (her nickname) was enrolled in a special education school, where there were others with the same problem.  There the students were taught things that came naturally for most of us.  Ploomie began to progress as years went.  She was now able to tie her own shoes and recognize her name when she saw it written down.
 
For many this is something we learn before we enter school.  But for others like Ploomie, who are mentally retarded, it takes years.  Some never learn the fundamental functions of everyday living.  This may be hard to visualize and understand,  unless you know someone like Ploomie.
 
When you look at her, she appears to be just as normal as the next person.  But if you sit down and try to hold a typical how's the weather type conversation it may be hard for you. Ploomie's pronunciation and enunciation isn't very good.  There is also the problem of socialization.  Ploomie can't relate to many people outside of our immediate family.
 
Because of this I was always reluctant about my friends coming over when we were growing up.  I never wanted anyone to know that I had a sister who was mentally retarded.  That's because many people, especially kids, have the wrong conception of mental retardation.  And for years I myself had the wrong conception.
 
People who are mentally retarded shouldn't be thought of as crazy or destructive.  Most are more loving and sane than many of us so-called normal people.  If someone injures a hand and loses partial use of it, we don't go running around fearing them.  Or making fun of them as if they weren't people.  Then why do it to someone who was born with partial use of their brain?  This is what I would ask people who make fun of people like Ploomie.
 
After I began to understand and accept Ploomie's condition, I would have friends over all the time.  Many of them grew fond of Ploomie and she of them.
 
It was hard growing up with a sister like Ploomie.  At night I would find myself in bed wondering if this was real.  I would tell myself that it's all a big joke, and that when Ploomie became 18 years old - - she would tell us that she had been pretending all these years in order to receive a million dollars.  Then I thought why don't you be real.  Many times I would cry and think to myself, here I am an A student in school with everything seeming so easy.  And there's my sister not even knowing how to spell her own name at age 12.  I had thoughts like, maybe God only allows so much knowledge per family and I took it all before Ploomie was born.  I wanted to have an operation to give Ploomie part of my brain, but I knew that wouldn't work.  I would ask our parents if maybe one of them had dropped her as an infant.  And they assured me many times that they had not.
 
Our parents said they had questioned themselves along with psychologists about Ploomie, finding no definite reason for her condition.  So, with time, I learned to accept the fact that my sister was different.
 
As we grew older Ploomie became attached to me, wanting me around all the time.  I would sometimes feel guilty when I went to games or parties with my friends, while she stayed at home.  When I returned home she would always be waiting, with a smile from ear to ear!
 
Ploomie is now 20 years old and has a boyfriend.  She will be graduating from a special education High School this year.  Ploomie can now perform just about all the everyday functions of life with some help.  And can interact with several people outside of the family.  Her mental level is only that of an 8 year old on average, but there are times when she truly is a 20 year old woman.
 
I love Ploomie and would not trade her for anyone or anything in the world.  I thank her for showing me how to love people, just the way they are.  And we both thank our parents for being so patient and loving throughout the years.
 
(Jonetta is the eldest of three children.  Having to set the example for the others and the love of her family made her write this story)
 
(2008 update - Ploomie (real name Vonda) is now 49 years old & lives with our Mom in Arizona. Our Dad passed away in 2003. Ploomie is a 6 year breast cancer survivor and continues to teach me the meaning of unconditional love. The term mentally retarded is no longer used - - mentally challenged is the correct term now.  When I hear people use the term "normal" it really gets to me at times.  What is normal? I've embraced, became friends and loved people from all walks of life. I've even been told that I'm different, odd and strange. I prefer the term "unique" however. I do take those comments as a compliment (believe it or not). Ploomie and I still maintain our close bond today.)